Homestuck: TruthsDares!
by Sleeping Winter
Summary: The cast of Homestuck come together to participate in truths and dares that YOU (the readers) choose! Rated T for Karkat's mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is a new thing I'm trying just for the fun of it! This is how it goes:**

**People review with truths/dares for me to use, and I'll try to use the ones I can. So, now I'll start it off for you guys!**

Breezy: Welcome to this new project; Homestuck: Truth or Dare! I'm Breezy, and I'll be dishing out all the dirty work for you guys!

Karkat: YOU SUCK, FUCKASS.

Breezy: Aren't you a cutie today? *ruffles hair*

Karkat: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.

John: Calm down, Karkat. I'm sure this game will be fun!

Jade: Woof! I agree!

Eridan: As long as I havve some sloppy make-outs I wwill be fine.

Sollux: Thut up, Eriidan.

Breezy: Woah. Calm down. Why can't you all be like Tavros and Gamzee?

_Tavros and Gamzee are laughing over some 'miracles' that Gamzee said. _

Dave: We can't all be hopeless. *cleaning shades*

Vriska: I agree with Dave.

Terezi: Y3S. 1 4GR33 W1TH D4V3.

Breezy: All right! Send in some truths/dares and let's get started!


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! A review already! :D**

Breezy: Welcome to the first truth/dare segment! Our first dare is from **Chaotixs11**

**Dare: Dave be more awesome then you already are.**

Dare: Tavros kill Vriska, best plot twist ever.

Dare:John put your leg behind your neck while hanging upside down from the tallest nearby building and realize how not fun this is going to be.

Truth: Karkat if the only person who is more of a fuckass than future you is past you does that mean over time you will eventually become less of a fuckass gradually and maybe some day not be a fuckass at all? 

Breezy: Okay! So our first dare is for Dave. Be more awesome than you already are.

Dave: Pfft. Easy. *takes off shades*

John: ...way cool.

Rose: I concur.

Karkat: CAN'T WE JUST MOVE ON TO THE NEXT FUCKING RETARDED QUESTION?!

Breezy: Yes. Yes we can. John, this one's for you.

John: Yay!

Breezy: Okay. This says...put your leg behind your neck while hanging upside down the tallest building...?

John: Seems legit.

_Breezy teleports the cast on top on a tall building. John gets a rope tied around his foot, and he dangles, while hanging his leg behind his neck. _

John: *screams* THIS IS SO NOT FUN!

Breezy: Yes. The person also predicted that.

Terezi: H33 H33. H3 LOOKS L1K3 ON3 OF MY SC4L3M4T3S!

Gamzee: WOaH. ThaT MoTHerFUCkER gOnnA bE ALLrigHT?

Breezy: *laughs* We don't know. We don't know...NEXT QUESTION! This one is a truth for Karkat!

Karkat: OH SWEET FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS IT?

Breezy: If the only one who is more than a fuckass than your future self is your past self, does that mean you will be less of a fuckass gradually, and maybe someday not a fuckass at all?

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? PAST ME AND FUTURE ME ARE FUCKASSES, BUT I'M NOT.

Dave: Hate to break it to ya, but you actually are one.

Terezi: H4! GOOD ON3, D4V3! *high fives*

John: HELP ME!

Jade: Should we help him?

Breezy: Eventually. Now, somebody has dared Tavros to kill Vriska. EPIC PLOT TWIST! *fist bumps computer screen*

Tavros: uHH, I d-DON't kNOW, iF I cAN Do ThAT,,

Vriska: Don't 8e such a 8a8y, Tavros. *sneers*

Tavros: I-I'Ll gIVE iT a TRy, I g-gUESS.

Breezy: Battle, begin!

_Tavros uses weak punch! Weak punch is weak and only does 2 damage! Vriska uses face bash, and Tavros loses 35 hp! Tavros uses rage! He uses wheelchair and runs over Vriska! Vriska is unable to battle! Tavros is the winner! _

Tavros: I, I, DiD iT!

Breezy: *snaps fingers* Brought her back. Wheel, Tavros, WHEEL!

Vriska: YOU 8astard! *gives chase*

Gamzee: ShE's ONe sIck mOTHerFUCKer.

Terezi: T3LL M3 4BOUT IT.

Breezy: Well that's all the time we have! We'll be back with more next time!

John: HHHEEELLPPO MMMEEE!

Karkat: YOU SICK FUCK. YOU FORGOT JOHN.

Breezy: Ooh, sorry John. *pulls him down*

John: I-I-I...I HATE THESE DARES!

Breezy: No he doesn't. See you all later!


	3. Chapter 3

Heh. Two chapters in one day? How I spoil you all. ;D

Breezy: All right!~ We have another batch of truth/dare questions.

Nepeta: That's purrfect! Am I involved this time?

Breezy: Yes, you are! The questions this time are from **JamGoggles**.

**Equius, truth. Have you ever hurt anybody with your uncontrollable strength and if you have who.**

Sollux and Eridan, dare. I dare you to turn into cute litte grubs.

Feferi, truth. Are you and Eridan still friends and if so do you still care about him.

Nepeta, truth. What is your favorite ship(besides your otp).

Tavros, dare. I dare you to kiss Gamzee.

John: PLEASE tell me I'm not in this one.

Breezy: *pats shoulder* It's okay, but you are.

Karkat: I REFUSE TO DO ANY MORE OF THESE.

Breezy: You're not in this one, so fine. First one is a truth for Equius! Have you ever hurt anyone with your strength, and if you have who?

Equius: *sweating*

Flashback:  
_  
:33 "Aah!" Nepeta pulled her hand back, tears streaming down her face. Equius tried to comfort her, but she pulled away._

D - "1'm s0rry! Nepeta! 1-1 d1dn't mean 1t!" *end flashback*

Equius: D - Yes...Nepeta. C-can 1 have a t0wel?

Dave: That's deep, man.

Breezy: On a lighter note...Feferi, are you still friends with Eridan? And if so, do you care for him?

Eridan: *eyes grow big and sparkly*

Feferi: Yes! We are still friends! )(e may be annoying sometimes, but he's reelly a fintastic person! 38D

Eridan: *Casually fist pumps*

Breezy: *snaps fingers and Sollux and Eridan turn into grubs* You are now grubs!

Sollux: *chatters angrily*

Eridan: *inches next to Sollux*

Sollux: *turns to Eridan, and chitters in an irritated tone*

Eridan: *moves closer to Sollux and snuggled him, then falls asleep*

Sollux: *turns head away in embarassment*

Breezy: Look at those little guys! Snug as two grubs in a rug.

Karkat: OH HOW FUCKING FUNNY.

Breezy: Quiet, you. Now, what is your favorite ship besides your OTP?

Nepeta: :33 *giggles* I totally ship DavexJade!

Dave: ...

Jade: W-woof?!

Breezy: :D Time for Tavros and Gamzee! JamGoggles has dared Tavros to kiss Gamzee.

Tavros: W-w-w-wHAT? I-I cAN't dO tHaT! He's my- oomf!

Gamzee forcefully pushes him into the chair and kisses him.

Gamzee: ThaT'S SOMe moThERfUCkinG mIRaClE. YoU TASte LiKE FAyGo.

Tavros: *frozen in shock*

Breezy: Haha! *thumbs up* Gamzee, you sly dog!

John: Please, no dares! Just-please!

Breezy: If I bring Casey, will you be all right with it.

John: *gasps* YES!

Breezy: ;D Cool. Next truth/dares are from **dsabingroce.**

**Dare: 7 minutes in heaven with VriskaxJohn, RoxyxJane, EridanxAradia  
Truth: What did Vriska do when she was dating the au John.  
Dare: Everyone, FAYGO PARTY!**

Breezy: *pushes Vriska, John, Roxy, Jane, Eridan and Aradia into separate closets* Time for 7 minutes in heaven!~

Vriska: All right! *pounces on John and starts to make out*

Breezy: Woah. Keep it down in there. *glass breaks* What the-! Roxy, Jane! You just pushed over a lamp in there!

Eridan: Finally sloppy makeout time. *slams into Aradia*

Aradia: !

Jane: R-Roxy! S-stop!

Breezy: They're having fun. ^^

_Vriska steps out of the closet, and walks away, with a smug look. John's face is covered in blue lipstick, and his glasses are crooked on his face._

John: I….am now a man.

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK, VRISKA?

Breezy: All right! Let's let the others in the closet have their privacy. Vriska, what did you do when you were dating AU John?

Vriska: *giggle* You guys REALLY don't want to know.

John: *hides face in hands and moans*

Karkat: GRRR

Dave: You jealous, bro?

Karkat: FUCK OFF, STRIDER.

Breezy: All right! Gamzee, please hand out Faygo. Dsabingroce has given us the surprise of a FAYGO PARTY!

Gamzee: HeLL MoTHErfUCkinG YeS!

Eridan: *steps out with lipstick on his lips, but a black eye* She's a puncher…

Aradia: y0u kn0w I am, hipster. *sits down with crossed arms*

Eridan: She lovved it. *winks*

Everyone: *chugging down Faygo*

Karkat: THIS SUCKS

Nepeta: Cheer up, Karkitty! It's purrty good when you drink it for a while!

Karkat: *shrugs angrily and takes another swig*

John: *dumps a carton of eggs on Karkat's head* Haha!

Karkat: JEGUS FUCK- JOOOOHN! *chases after the flying boy*

John: Catch me if you can, KARKITTY! *gigglesnort*

Breezy: Send in more truths and dares! See y'all soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Breezy: All right! We have more for the people on the other side of the computer screen!

Karkat: ZZZ

Breezy: Is he asleep?

Dave: *pokes face* Yeah.

John: Let's draw on his face. *pulls out permanent marker*

Jade: John, no!

John: *grumbles*

Breezy: I'll wake him up later. First one is from **AzureSonata23**!

**Truth: Nepeta, is your tail real? What's the history behind it?**

Dare: Kanaya, go give someone who truly needs the makeover of a lifetime!

Truth: Eridan, how did you get the cape?

Dare: Gamzee, show everyone what you look like without your makeup!

Dare: Calliope, recite a few lines from one of your stories that you have under wraps!

Dare: Karkat, go around the room and say at least one nice thing about everyone.

Dare: Jake, become the Tomb Raider.

Truth: Damara, I apologize if my Japanese is slightly off but, (translated) Who do you think has the best looking ass?

Truth: Dave, what's your middle name?

Dare: Mituna, play a song on the piano!

Truth: Equius, do you watch My Little Pony? If so, who's your favorite?

Dare: Tavros, commence a sick rap! Start those sick fires bro!

Breezy, you're awesome. Have this gold star!

-Azure

Breezy: Awesome! Thanks! *sticks on shirt*

Terezi: L3TS G3T TH1S MOV1NG.

Kanaya: Yes, I Am Quite Eager To Start This Session.

Breezy: Right! First one is for Nepeta. Is your tail real? What is it's history?

Nepeta: :33 *giggles* It's fake, but I'd love it if it were real! I'd be like a real life kitty! Pounce de Leon made it for me! Isn't it purrty?

Kanaya: Good Stitching.

Breezy: All right! Next one is for Eridan. Where did you get your cape from?

Eridan: Wwell, since my ass of a lusus didn't agree to let me go shopping for one, I got this from Fef.

Feferi: Glub! You're whalecome, Eridan!

Breezy: All right! Kanaya, you're up next. Give someone who is desperate need the makeover of a lifetime!

Kanaya: Eridan, Come With Me.

Eridan: /scoffs/ Nonsense. I'm fabulous.

Kanaya: /looks him up and down/ You Will Be When I'm Done. /pulls him upstairs/

Breezy: Anyway, Gamzee! Show us what you look like without makeup!

Gamzee: Do I MotHERfuCKIng HaVe To?

Breezy: Yes. Yes you do.

Gamzee: /wipes off makeup/ TherE. ThE ScaRS LoOK WorSE.

Karkat: /blinks open eyes and yawns/ WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Breezy: You woke up just in time for your dare! :D Go around the room and say one nice thing about each one in the room.

Karkat: HELL NO!

Breezy: Hell _yes._

Karkat: /grumble/ FINE. DAVE AND TEREZI, I FIND YOUR SHADES PRETTY COOL. TAVROS...YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT GETTING AROUND IN THAT WHEELCHAIR. GAMZEE, YOU LOOK GOOD WITHOUT YOR FACE PAINT. SOLLUX, YOUR OBESSION WITH BEES IS _SORT OF_ COOL. VRISKA, YOUR...GLASSES LOOK GOOD ON YOU. KANAYA'S STYLES ARE PRETTY COOL, AND ERIDAN'S, UM...HIPSTER LOOK SUITS HIM. JADE AND NEPETA, BOTH OF YOUR EARS ARE IRRITATING, BUT SORT OF...CHARMING. THERE, I DID EVERYONE.

John: You forgot me!

Breezy: Karkat. Say something nice about John.

Karkat: THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY.

Breezy: Karkat...do I have to force a sober Gamzee on you?

Karkat: /shudder/ FINE...YOURBUCKTEETHARESORTOFCUTEAN DILIKETHEM.

John: Karkat, you said that too fast. I couldn't understand a word you said.

Breezy: Hehe. It was good enough.

Kanaya: Presenting! Eridan Ampora's New Design!

Eridan: /dressed in a white tux and a purple ascot/ I look fabulous in anything.

Sollux: Thure, keep telling yourthelf that.

Eridan: Maybe I wwil!

Sollux: That was a tharcathtic comment, you prick!

Breezy: Calm down. We don't need blood on Eridan's new snazzy look.

Eridan: You think I'm...snazzy?

Breezy: /puts hand on shoulder/ Everybody thinks you look fabulous. Now! Damara! You know the question. /shows her the computer/ (This has been translated into English, so the readers can understand. :3)

Damara: Why, me, of course! I mean... **/**turns around/

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE SAYING?

Breezy: ...anyway. Jake! Be Tomb Raider!

Jake: /is shocked/ I-what are these things on my chest?!

Breezy: You're now the Lara Croft. ;3 Dave, what's your middle name?

Dave: ...Dirk.

Dirk: Hell yeah it is. I thought you'd need a piece of me to be awesome.

Breezy: Woah. Vain much?

Dirk: /shrugs/

Breezy: Mituna! Play a song on the piano!

Mituna: F1N3. /plays song/

Karkat: THE FUCK-

Breezy: CENSOR. Anyway, Equius do you watch My Little Pony?

Equius: D- Y0u mean, My L1ttle H00fbeast? Yes, 1 watch it.

Breezy: Who is your favorite?

Equius: D- 1 w0uld say the"Rar1ty" h00fbeast.

Breezy: Hmm. Okay. I hope AzureSonata23 is good with that answer. Tavros! Set some sick fires, bro!

Tavros: uHH, oKAY. /does an awesome rap/

Terezi: NOT 4S GOOD 4S D4V3.

Gamzee: SounDS lIKe MoTHeRfuCkiNG MirACLes AnD ShIT.

Breezy: Calliope! Appear!

Calliope: /appears/ w-where am I?

Breezy: In MY world! :D Now, can you recite a sentence from your current story?

Calliope: yes! it's not finished, but i'll read yoU some. /reads some of the story/

John: **/**blows nose/ T-that was beautiful...

Breezy: Okay! Next batch from** Chibi Night Angel**.

**Karkat: Dare, switch personalities with John**

John: Dare, switch personalities with Karkat

Tavros: Truth, who do you liiiiike?

Gamzee: Dare, be securely locked in a room with no sopor or faygo and ICP music blasting in it for a whole chapter

Vriska: Truth, why did you cause Tavros to be a cripple?

Dave: Dare, ride Maplehoof while wearing a mini skirt (for ironic purposes of course)

Terezi: Dare, you have been temporarily genderbent! Now go and kiss Karkat :) 

Breezy: Aah, I love you guys. /glomps monitor/ Now, Karkat and John switch personalities. Now.

Karkat: WHAT? I AM NOT-

John: I AM KARKAT. I HATE EVERYTHING EXCEPT SHITTY ROMCOM MOVIES. ALSO, JOHN. JOHN IS AWESOME, AND HIS MOVIES DO NOT SUCK NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Breezy: Ah, ah, ah!~ Switch with John.

Karkat: FUCKING FI- I mean, fucking fine. I'm John and I watch dumbass movies that make no sense and am a human fleshy thing. Now watch me do the windy thing, whoo-hoo! /blows hair out of face/

John: I don't sound like that! Ahem. I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT, FUCKASS. GET YOUR FUCKING BRAIN TO WORK.

Breezy: All right! Now, Terezi. You are now a male. /snaps fingers/ Now go kiss Karkles.

Terezi: WH1CH ON3? JOHN PR3TEND1NG TO BE K4RKL3S, OR TH3 R34L K4RKL3S?

Breezy: The real one.

Terezi: /kisses Karkat, then swipes tongue over his face/

Karkat: FUCKING DISGUS- I mean, oh, no! Terezi! You made me blush like the loser I am! You're the first girl who has ever kissed me besides Vriska just before!

John: SHUT UP. JOHN DOES NOT EVEN SOUND LIKE THAT, DUMBASS.

Breezy Break it up. Okay! Tavros. Who do you like? :3

Tavros: uhh,,d-dO I hAVe tO?

Breezy: Yes. Obey the computer!

Tavros: /whispers in ear/

Breezy: Go for it, dude.

Tavros: I wILL, lATER oN iN tHIS.

Breezy: Okay! Gamzee, come with me. /brings into a closet with a boombox/ Stay put! /turns on boombox with music all the way up, then runs and secures the door shut/ That should hold him.

Dave: You're playing with fire, here.

Sollux: Th0uld be g00d to get rid 0f him.

Nepeta: :33 I think we should let him out!

Breezy: Not a good plan. Anyway, that's his dare. If worse comes to worse, Karkat- erm, I mean John ca just pap him back to sanity. Vriska, why did you cause Tav to become a cripple.

Vriska: It suits him 8est.

Tavros: hEY!

Breezy: Calm, guys. Why are you all so agro? Now, Dave ride Maplehoof while wearing a mini skirt.

Eridan: (I wwanted to do that...)

Dave: /eyes suspiciously/ For ironic purposes?

Breezy: Sure, why not?

Dave: /puts on miniskirt that Kanaya hands him, and rides Maplehoof/

Breezy: /wipes tear/ He inspires us all. Now, since we're on a roll, another batch, from **anonnnn** and **AnonymousNinjaGirl**.

**ERIDAN! SOLLUX! KISS, NOW! DO IT! I triple dog dare you. :3 **

**AnonymousNinjaGirl**

**My dare is john should try to take off daves shades.  
My truth is did vriska actually kiss anyone besides tavros? **

**anonnnn**

Breezy: Sollux, Eridan. Kiss.

Sollux: N0 way! He'th-

Eridan: If you say so. /grabs Sollux and starts to make out/

Sollux: The-inhale-FUCK?!

Eridan: Yea, Sol. Believve it.

Jade: That was...disturbing...

Dave: Woah, dude. Rose is asleep.

Breezy: Okay. Vriska, did you kiss anyone besides Tavros?

Vriska:Well, I've kissed John in the closet right before...

John: /turns red/

Vriska: Eridan, unfortunatly.

Eridan: Wweh.

Vriska: And...oh, there are too many to count. ;;;;D

Breezy: O..k...? Now. John. Take off Dave's shades.

John: OK, FUCKASS. /takes off Dave's shades. Then starts to cry/ THEY'RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!

Dave: You know it.

Breezy: I'm totally burning up in the atmosphere. One more. From **Homestucker 33**.

**Jade sit on Dave's lap for 3 turns  
Eridan try to speak in a British accent  
Sollux choose which troll is for you; Feferi or Aradia?  
Nepeta which is your OTP and why?  
Karkat be nice to EVERYONE for the next 5 turns  
John sloppy make-out with Rose! :P  
Vriska be give apologies to everyone you hurt and hug Tavros  
Terezi eat jello off of Karkat's face!  
Gamzee give Equius a lesson on miracles  
DONE! :33 hope you like them! Choose them please! :P **

Breezy: Jade. Dave's lap. Now.

Dave: /pats lap/ Come here, girl.

Jade: Woof! /jumps up and sits on his lap/ Dang dog part...

Breezy: Eridan. Speak all sexy-like with a British accent.

Eridan: Howw's this?

Nepeta: :33 /perks ears up at 'sexy-like'/ A new ship?

Breezy: No. Just...no. Sollux. Which Troll is for you? Feferi or Aradia?

Sollux: That'th a hard 0ne. AA was my first, but...then I f0und FF. I'm n0t thure.

Eridan: It's obvviously not any of them.

Breezy: Okay, Eridan. Keep telling yourself that. Nepeta! What is your OTP?

Nepeta: :33 ? Hehe...totally not NepetaxKarkitty. Beclaws that's just ridicules!

Breezy: /monotone/ It is, isn't it?

Nepeta: :33 Yes.

Breezy: Karkat! (a.k.a. John) Be nice to everyone for 5 turns.

John: WHAT THE FUCK? WHY?

Karkat: Because you're _Karkat_. /smug smile/

John: UGH. FINE. JOHN, YOU'RE A REALLY NICE PERSON RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

Karkat: /shocked/ I AM?

Breezy: /facepalm/ It's the dare, doofus.

Karkat: Yeah, I k-knew that.

Breezy: /rolls eyes/ Anyway, John. Sloppy make out with Rose. This time, real John does this..

Katkat: I get my revenge!

John: She's asleep, so it's fine I guess. /kisses a sleeping Rose/

Breezy: Good! John isn't resisting as much anymore!~

Roxy: What are you doin wit my daugtr?

Roxy: *daughter

Breezy: Vriska, apologize to everyone you hurt and hug Tavros.

Vriska: No.

Breezy: Yes.

_No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. _

Vriska: Ugh, fine! I'm sorry, Tavros. /crushes him in a hug/

Tavros: g-gET oFF mE, uHH, pLeASE!

Vriska: Eridan, I'm sorry you suck so much. And how I make fun of you for it so often. Terezi, I'm sorry I held a grudge of how you killed me that time!

Terezi: H3 H3. YOU B3TTER 4POLOGIZ3.

Breezy: Okay! Terezi. Eat Jell-o off of Karkat's face.

Terezi: TH3 R34L ON3?

Breezy: Take your pick.

Terezi: /eats red Jell-o off of the real karkat's face/

Karkat: Blegh! Disgusting! I-I can taste that stupid human food!

Terezi: It's GOOD, R1GHT?

Karkat: IT'S FUCKING GROSS!

Breezy: Last one. We need Gamz. Karkat go get him.

Karkat: ONLY IF JOHN AND I CAN SWITCH BACK.

Breezy: Okay.

Karkat: /returns with Gamzee after a while. Gamzee is smiling with a faygo in his hands/ GOT THE FUCK FOR BRAINS.

Breezy: Gamzee, teach Equius about miracles.

Gamzee: ThEY'rE LiKE, wHEn ThE WoRLD Is a douGHNUT. Or YoU HavE A BEArd oF ShAVIng CreaM. TheY'RE JusT, y'KNoW.

Equius: D- …

Breezy: Okay that's it! See ya guys later!

**Sorry for it's...long ness.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the long wait. My schedule's been kinda busy. But I re-did my room and now have _and actual desk for my laptop._ How friggin' cool is that? Not to mention I got sick and my throat itches and hurts. -_-**

Breezy: We're back after... /checks calendar/ Like, almost a week. Wow.

Kanaya: Yes. I Am Truly Looking Forward To Watching What Shenanigans Our Readers Have For Us.

Jade: Woof! Rose is still asleep?

Nepeta: :33 Seems so! Maybe I could make one of my ships come true...

Breezy: Woah. No hasty decisions. All right. Here are the first dares we have:

**Hey, im back and equius sorry about the triggering question last time, anyways.**

Dare: equius and nepeta turn into cute little grubs  
Truth: tavros why are you so adorable?  
Dare: sollux sing the song 'sweet little bumble bee' in front of everyone.  
Truth: horrus what is that blue thing that you always carry around (if you don't know what that is whatch 'shall we do it'  
on MasterYorgis youtube channel).  
Truth: sullox did you know eridan crossdresses?  
Truth: gamzee who's blood tastes the best?  
Dare: feferi kill a cuttlefish 

**JamGoggles**

**Alive Aradia I deres you to run around saying I am minuet made.**

**Guest**

**SLOPPY MAKEOUT TIME!**

vriska/terezi  
john/karkat  
gamzee/tavros  
nepeta/karkat  
eridan/feferi  
sollux/aradia  
sollux/feferi  
all the guys/me  
dirk/jake  
jake/jane  
nepeta/equius  
sollux/karkat  
gamzee/karkat  
dave/john  
dave/terezi

Did I miss anybody? Here:  
EVERYBODY, MAKEOUT WITH EVERYBODY ELSE! 

**RedWolf Lover**

**LONGNESS IS GOOD.**

Dare: Equius, don't use any towels all day.  
Dare: Gamzee, hug your worst enemy! ...If you have one.  
Dare: AND SUDDENLY KARKAT TRICKSTER 

**The Zoster**

**Herro. ...  
Truth: PB&J moment, prease?  
Dare: Vriska, stop being a bitch for a few minutes of your life.  
Dare: Jade, Nepeta, start shipping together.  
Dare: Ancestors, pop up!  
Truth: Omnomnom.  
Dare: Karkat, tell everyone your blood colour.  
Truth: Sollux, tell everyone who you really love a lot.**

Tank you. 

**anon'sanon**

Breezy: And finally,

**Sup. Okay then. I am a die-hard fan of everyone here today.  
Everyone truth: Where do your last names come from?  
Tavros dare: Dress up in a bikini, go to the beach and yell ''HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT ME, I'M SEXY!'' Or I get to have your Pupa Pan costume.  
Eridan dare: DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT TAVROS WHEN HE GOES TO THE BEACH! Or else I'll throw you into tarter sauce, it's made from fish. :D  
Kanaya dare: Wear mixed-matched clothes for a chapter. If not, then... uh... I don't have an ''If not'' for you. Seems you got lucky... this time.  
Nepeta dare: How long can you last against 10 beagle puppies? *lets Beagle puppies out of kennel* Don't worry everyone, they are house-broken... well... hive-broken I guess?  
Gamzee dare: Kiss Meulin without getting attacked by Kurloz.  
Sollux dare: Kiss every girl in the room TWICE. (Ancestors excluded).  
Terezi dare: *swipes cane and runs* CATCH ME IF YOU CAN MOTHERFUCKER!  
Feferi dare: *swipes goggles and runs* CAN'T CATCH ME!  
Random Duck named Steve dare: Run in there and steal all the glasses. Yes, I mean the things you stick over your eyes.  
And finally All trolls dare: After completing my dares become grubs! I do mean EVERYONE. Alpha trolls and Beta trolls. Heck, let's make the Ancestors grubs too. And stay that way until the middle of the next chapter!  
AND I AM DONE! GOODBYE! **

**Leo for life**

Breezy: Let's hop to it. Okay, Sollux is going first. Sing, 'Sweet little bumblebee' in front of everybody.

Sollux: I refuthe. I am _n0t_ 0kay wiith any 0f thethe dareths.

Breezy: It wasn't something you can refuse. Do you want me to let loose a sober Gamzee?

Sollux: ...fiine.

Breezy: Sweet. Here are the lyrics.

0h-0-0-0a, 0h-0-0-0 0h-0-0-0a, 0h-0-0-0  
Thweet liittle bumble bee I kn0w what y0u want fr0m me Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Thweet liittle bumble bee M0re than just a fantathy Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
My heart thkiips a beat When y0u walk iin the r00m I g0 b00m, b00m, b00m Y0u g0 z00m, z00m, z00m Y0u're my playb0y, playt0y L0ve y0u, my friiend I wanna be wiith y0u untiil the end  
I give my heart and my th0ul t0 y0u T0 make y0u thee iit'th true I'm s0 c0nfused, baby, can't y0u thee? Pleathe c0me rethcue me  
Thweet liittle bumble bee I kn0w what y0u want fr0m me Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Thweet liittle bumble bee M0re than just a fantathy Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
0h-0-0-0a,, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da 0h-0-0-0a, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da  
I thtarted t0 cry When y0u walked 0ut that d00r Y0u g0 bye, bye, bye I g0 why, why, why I'm th0 l0nely and 0nly Waiitiing f0r y0u T0 c0me back and tell me I l0ve you  
I give my heart and my th0ul t0 y0u T0 make y0u thee iit'th true I'm s0 c0nfused, baby, can't y0u thee? Pleathe c0me rethcue me  
Thweet liittle bumble bee I kn0w what y0u want fr0m me Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Thweet liittle bumble bee M0re than just a fantathy Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
0h-0-0-0a,, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da 0h-0-0-0a, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da  
Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
Thweet liittle bumble bee I kn0w what y0u want fr0m me Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Thweet liittle bumble bee M0re than just a fantathy Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-do la da  
0h-0-0-0a,, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da 0h-0-0-0a, 0h-0-0-0 Dup-ii-dup-i-d0 la da Dup-ii-dup-ii-d0 la da

Eridan: That wwas so romantic, Sol!~

Sollux: Thut up. I wathen't even tryiing.

Karkat: /bursts out laughing/ T-THAT WAS AMAZING!

Breezy: /hiding laughter/ G-good job, Sollux. _Really_ manly song you just sang, there. Anyway, Tavros, why are you so adorable?

Tavros: /blushes bright/ uMM, WELL...I dON'T kNOW.

Vriska: What he lacks in 8rawn he makes up for in his looks.

Tavros: h-HEY!

Breezy: Okay, for the first time, I'm going to take a truth/dare from a different batch before finishing one. Vriska, stop being a bitch for a few minutes of your life. I hope anon'sanon doesn't mind, but let's make it a whole day of her life.

Vriska: /scoffs/ I am NOT a 8itch!

Breezy: /mutters/ Keep tellin' yourself that. Anyway, Equius and Nepeta you are now cute grubs! :D

_Both turn into their cute, grubby selves from the past._

John: Eew! Equius even sweats when he's a grub!

Equius: /makes a creepy chattering noise/

Dave: Egderp, I think you should stay away from that one. It gives me the creeps.

John: /picks up Nepeta/ I'll play with Nepeta instead!

Rose: /wakes up/ Why are our companions reduced to slimy, wet, insect-like grubs?

Jade: Woof! I have no clue, but I really have the urge to-

John: /flails around/ Jade, you _cannot_ chase after them! I don't care if you're part dog! Get back here! /follows Jade out of the room/

Breezy: Erm, let's just continue on without them.

Sollux, did you know Eridan crossdresses?

Eridan: /hisses/ No one is supposed to knoww about that!

Sollux: Ab0ut everyb0dy here kn0wth that. It'th n0 biig supriise.

Breezy: Okay! Gamzee, whose blood tastes the best?

Gamzee: /looks over at Tavros/ The OnE ThAT IS thE MosT CiTRuS. TaSTEs LikE OranGE FayGO.

Tavros: /shudders/

Breezy: Wow. That's pretty creepy, Gam. Sorry to say this, Fef, but you have to kill a cutlefish.

Feferi: W)(at? I can't just KRILL a innocent cuttlefis)(!

Rose: Feferi, I'm sorry but this is non-negotiable.

Breezy: Listen to Rose. Here. /hands cuttlefish/

Feferi: Oh, cod. /pulls out trident/ I'm sorry... /slowly 'does the deed', as they say/

Breezy: Okay! Horrus, what is the blue thing you carry around?

Horrus: …

Breezy: Oh boy. What is it?

Horrus: /wispers into ear/

Breezy: /eyes widen/ Okeeyyy. I don't think that I'm old enough mentally and physically to repeat what he said, so let's just move on. PLEASE?! Okay, everybody make out with everybody else!

Everybody (except Eridan): WHAT?!

Eridan: /purrs/ _Everybody_, hmm? /looks around the room with a smug smirk/

Karkat: GET THAT SMUG FUCKING SMILE OFF YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW ERIDAN, OR I WILL COME OVER THERE AND PUNCH IT OFF OF YOUR FOOD HOLE.

Breezy: Ok, and...begin!

_Eridan grabs Feferi and Sollux and they begin, while everybody else just grabbed the people next to them. Terezi just started to lick everybody's faces, desperately trying to find out who was who. Kanaya and Rose just sat down ad began to politely kiss each other. No surprise there._

Breezy: Ehehe. That was kinda gross.

Terezi: 1 COULDN'T T3LL WHO 1 W4S K1SS1NG!

Dave: Let's keep it that way.

Breezy: :3 I love you readers. Equius, no towles. Trickster!Karkat.

Trickster!Karkat: WHAT THE **FUCK** DID YOU DO TO ME?!

Terezi: OH K4RKL3S! YOU SM3LL L1KE A BUFF3T!

Breezy: Yes. Yes he does.

Equius: D → D0 I have t0? Is it an 0rder?

Breezy: Yes. Now, Gamzee, hug your worst enemy.

Gamzee: MothERfuCKIng PleaSUrE.

_Gamzee walks over to an apple pie and hugs it._

Gamzee: /whispers creepily to the pie/ You'LL NevER Be BettER ThaN SlIME piES.

Breezy: … all righty then. PBJ MOMENT.

Tavros: w-WELL, gAMZEE...

Gamzee: WhAT The MothERFucK Is iT, TavBRO?

Tavros: i-i sORTA...aM fLUSHED...

Breezy: Get a room. /pushes them into a closet/ All right! :D Jade and Nepeta. Start shipping together.

Nepeta: :33 This will be fun! We'll become the best of furrends!

Jade: Oh, I like that pairing! /points to a place on her shipping chart/

Nepeta: :33 Yup! It's adorable!

Karkat: GREAT. ANOTHER NEPETA. THAT'S JUST WHAT WE NEED.

John: Watch yourself, Karkles. That's my sister.

Breezy: Next one before those two begin fighting. Ancestors, pop up!

All the Ancestors: /appear/ Where are we?

Breezy: No where. Anyway, bye! /poofs them away/ Haha! Karkat, tell everyone your blood color.

Karkat: NO WAY!

Breezy: Someone, please help me with this.

Terezi: COM3 ON, K4RKL3S.

Karkat: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID GAME.

Breezy: Nope. Here. /pulls out bucket and throws it at Karkat/

Karkat: GYAHHH! /blushes a bright red/ WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

Breezy: There 'ya go, , who do you really love a lot?

Sollux: Fef and AA.

Breezy: All right. Next ones. All your glasses have been stolen by a duck and a reader. Whoopdie-freakin-doo.

Dave: No way, man. This sucks.

Feferi: My goggles!

Breezy: Tavros dress in a bikini and say "HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT ME, I'M SEXY" and Eridan, you cannot look.

Eridan: ...wweh.

Tavros: /in an orange bikini/ uHH,, I-i'M sEXY. LOOK aT mE,,

Gamzee: HoNK.

Breezy: Eew, Gamzee. Seriously? Good job, Eridan. **/**pats head/ Next, Kanaya. Wear mixed-matched clothes for this chapter.

Kanaya: /wearing neon green and beige/ These Colors Are Horrifying!

Breezy: Good. Now, Nepeta, how long can you stand against 10 beagle puppies? /lets them out of cage/

Nepeta: :33 MR33OW! HISS! /climbs up bookshelf/

Jade: Woof! /joins them/

Breezy: Like a little family. D'aww! Gamzee. Kiss Meulin without letting Kurloz attack you.

Gamzee: FiNE, MoTHERfuCKing SiS. /kisses Meulin on the forehead/

Kurloz: /grits teeth/

Meulin: /giggles softly and thanks Gamzee in sign language/

Breezy: Cuute! Now Sollux, kiss every girl in the room twice. Including the ancestors. Just watch out for Mituna when you kiss his matesprit.

Sollux: /sighs/ It theems I have n0 ch0iice. /goes around and kisses every girl in the room on the cheek (except Feferi and Aradia)/

Breezy: Sollux, what a player. Anyway, YOU ARE ALL GRUBS UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF THE NEST CHAPTER.

_Every single troll becomes a grub._

John: Woah! Look at all of them! Karkat grub, why don't you ever smile?

Dave: Ugh. Terezi grub is licking my hand.

Jade: Eew! Eridan grub is _still_ trying to hit on the female grubs! Get a hint, hipster!

Breezy: All right! What is the meaning for all your last names?

Grubs: /chatter/

Breezy: I can't understand what they're saying. Anyway, that's all we have for today! See you!


	6. Chapter 6

**HOLY MOTHER 'A MERCY THAT'S A LONG TIME I'VE BEEN OFF. I am so sorry, guys. I've been focusing on school, and my artistic talent. Plus I've kinda been tired of going through so many truth/dares so unfortunately, I'm going to have to start skipping some. :( **

**I know, I know, I'm a horrible person, but I'm a horrible person whose grades are _going down_. XD So...let's get back from our break, eh?**

Breezy: What a horrible woman. She left all these nice people waiting for so long!

Jade: I don't know if I would say that...

Dave: Let's just get this over with, ok? I got somewhere to be aka creating art that melts the soul through the ears.

Breezy: That was oddly...deep.

Dave: You know it.

Karkat: JUST HURRY THIS UP ALREADY IM TIRED AND WANT SOME QUIET.

Vriska: Don't 8lame us. You're 89% of the yelling that goes on in this fandom.

Karkat: /sits angrily in a bean bag chair/

Breezy: Okay! First one!

**Round 2  
Dare: Karkat, John, Call of Duty, NOW  
Truth: Damara, why do you speak Japanese  
Dare: Rose, kiss Dave  
Dare: Jade, kiss Jake (Evil Laughter)  
Truth: Eridan, why be hipster  
Dare: Breezy, make this story M-rated (If you know what I mean) **

**~dsabingroce**

Breezy: Holy hell. M rated? Hard core. Alrighty then, John and KK! Get to a' playin!

John: Hah! I haven't played this game in so long! But I'm still k'ing your 'a.

Karkat: WHAT?

John: Nevermind.

Karkat: WHAT?! HE WAS STANDING NEXT TO MY SPAWN POINT! WHAT A, A...

John: Camper?

Karkat: YEAH. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS.

Breezy: Let's leave those two to play their games. Damara, could you please tell us why you speak Japanese?

Damara: /translated from Japanese/ What the fuck is Japanese? I speak like this because of how I was raised.

Breezy: Ididn'tunderstandawordshesaid. Rose, kiss Dave.

Rose: What? Isn't Dave my brother?

Dave: Incestuous man. Not cool.

Breezy: You heard the fan. Now kiss!

Rose: I will not just let you order me around, I have rights that blatantly state that- mmfff!

Dave: There. Done. /wipes mouth/

Terezi: B4D4SS, D4V3.

Dave: Thanks Terez.

Kanaya: /reaches for lipstick/

Rose: /shakes head/

Breezy: You thought _that_ was bad? Jade. Jake. Come here.

Jake: What would you like?

Breezy: /pushes them together/ Now **kiss**!

Jade: /wipes mouth/ Eew! He's-he's- my _grandpa_!

Jake: She's my _grandmother_!

Breezy: Not technically. Close enough for me, anyway. Eridan, why be hipster?

Eridan: Wwhy the fuckin cod wwould they wwant to knoww that? A course it's because it makes me look like a wwizard. And wwizards are fuckin _awesome_.

Breezy: Oh, Eridan.

**Dare: Karkat, sit on a pile of buckets  
Truth: Jade, who in the room is your favorite person?  
Dare: Nepeta, do a dangerous stunt  
Dare: Equius, watch as Nepeta does it and you can't help or stop her at all  
Truth: Karkles, where do you get your rage from?  
Dare: Dave Remove shades  
Dare: Gamzee, face your worst fear  
Dare: Kurloz, poke Mituna all chapter long  
Truth: Eridan, I heard that you were the one who killed Gam's lusus over his littering of Faygo bottles in the ocean...is it true?  
Dare: Vriska and Tavros, genderbend now! **

**~Chibi Night Angel**

Breezy: Blowing through these faster than Nepeta reading Karnep fafics.

Karkat: HOLD THE FUCK UP. WHAT?

Nepeta: /curls up in a dark corner and cries/

Breezy: What? I didn't say anything.

Karkat: YES YOU DI-

Breezy: Karkat sit on a pile of buckets. And this isn't a punishment this is an actual dare.

Karkat: I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE. THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING TO SIT ON A PILE OF SUCH GROTESQUE, VOMIT-ENDUCING, **SHIT**.

Breezy: Do what I say. /hiss/

Roxy: Just do whau she says. *what

Karkat: NO WAY IN HELL.

Breezy: Jade. Witch of Space powers. Move the buckets to Karkat.

Jade: Gladly.

Karkat: HOLY TRAUMITIZING SHIT CAKED HUMAN HOMEWORLD! WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! /mental breakdown/

Breezy: Ok. Jade, in this room, who is your favorite person?

Jade: My grandpa, of course! He raised me! Well, not this version of him. Yet. But still!

Jake: Well, I'm sure looking forward to if you're this nice of a girl, Jade.

Nepeta: /watches from the shadows/ Pawsible moiraillegiance? No. Purrobably only lusus-troll relationship.

Breezy: :) Nepeta, do a dangerous stunt.

Nepeta: Like what?

Breezy: Hmm...jumping off the roof into Equius' arms like the scene from Dirty Dancing!

Equius: I STRONGLY disagree. Nepeta is my m0irai1, which gives her safety and pr0tecti0n given from-

Breezy: Just hush up and do it already.

_Nepeta timidly climbs to the roof, clinging on to a nearby pole for dear life. After some persuasion, (or purrsuasion) she finally jumps, ending up in her moriail's arms, to the theme of 'Time Of My Life', which Breezy conveniently played. _

Breezy: Not so hard, right?

Nepeta: I think Eqkitty caught me a little late. /winded/

Breezy: Yeah, sorry Chibi. About that second part. I just wanted to put in the scene from Dirty Dancing. :3 KK. Where does all that rage come from?

Karkat: MOSTLY FROM THE BUILDING UP OF ANGER AND RESNETMENT THAT THE ENTIRE TROLL SOCIETY HAS AFFECTED ME WITH. IT'S NOT FUN AT ALL TO STAY LOCKED UP IN YOUR HIVE PRETTY MUCH ALL YOUR LIFE. AND MOST OF THE TIME, I JUST LEAD OTHER POTENTIAL CLOSE FRIENDS AWAY FROM ME WITH HOW LOUD A LEVEL MY VOICE IS AT AND MY ETERNAL HATRED THAT BURNS DEEP INSIDE MYSELF, FOR MYSELF.

Breezy: Pure poetry, Karkat. Everyone, please applaud that masterpiece.

_Unsure applause_

Dave: Not gonna do it.

Breezy: Do what?

Dave: Take off my shades.

Breezy: What? You- you read my computer?

Dave: Hell yeah I did. I'm not some losers like Vantas who continually agree to do this shit.

Breezy: /grabs shades and gives them to Vriska/ _**Run.**_

Vriska: Smell ya l8r, loser! /absconds/

Dave: Aww, hell no. /gives chase/

Breezy: Gam, face your /worst/ fear.

Gamzee: /watches his murderous rampage/ WhAT iS WrONG WiTh Me? I-i-kIlLED ThOSe MoThERFUCkERS LiKE TheY WeRe WortHlESS. Tav... /tears up/

Breezy: /glomps/ no. no crying. Kurloz, poke Mituna all chapter long.

Kurloz: /nod/ **poke**

Mituna: KURL0Z 570P I7. KURL0Z! 5555577770000000PPPP!

Breezy: Poor Tuna. Hang in there. Eridan, did you kill Gam's lusus over the pollution of the ocean via faygo bottles?

Eridan: /looks at Gamzee/ No...wwhy wwould I do somefin like that?

Gamzee: /twitch/ GoAt DaD. GoAT MoTHERFuCkiNG Dad Was MY LuSus, BroTHER.

Eridan: I DIDN'T DO IT!

Breezy: Okay. Cool your biscuits.

John: What?!

Breezy: Uhh...TAVROS VRISKA GENDERBEND NOW.

Tavros: aAH! UH,,,w-whAT jUsT hAPPENED?

Vriska: /from a far off distance/ Holy shit this is 8adass!

Dave: Give me those shades!

Breezy: Heh. Well, see ya guys next time. Ask and you shall receive!

Karkat: WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING GENIE?

**Sorry. That wasn't that many, but I've got many things going on over here! **

**Also, I want to say thank you to someone. Livvykitty, you inspired me to pick this back up again. I was going to delete all my works and just leave the account dormant, but you inspired me to keep writing. :) Thank you so much, that review warmed my heart. Right here. You can't see it, but I have my hand over my heart. 3**


End file.
